Lubrication for women and it’s increasing challenges is often something we just learn to accept, as if “drying up”  was always destined to happen to our body and to simply grin and bear the discomfort.

We are told before we even reach perimenopause and menopause that this is just the way it is and I want to tell you from my own experience, that is not how life or sex has to be for women at any age at all.

To ensure we continue to experience the pleasure of being wet, we need to look and interact with sex and our bodies beyond the stamp size picture of sex, our education limited it to be and how we have therefore experienced it as.

We need to come to the larger understanding our bodies and our life needs more than “A to B” in the bedroom.

Not just when we are “dried out” but for our young women to know “dried out” is not normal. It is in truth our body asking us to stop what we think is the way and create something deliciously wet and new.

Reasons why we find it hard to get wet:

❤️ Our Yoni is meant to swell (at least three times our usual size) before we are ready for any penetration. Not many women are gifted the time or give themselves the time. Yes, it can be thrilling to follow the spontaneous moment of a quickie but to be penetrated before we are swollen and lubricated consistently, overtime causes tension and contraction in our muscles, making it more challenging to lubricate for ourselves.

Yes, we can add lubrication, which is becoming more of a popular need, but why not allow and enjoy the experience of swollen, wet and ripe as we are meant to be.

❤️ We have only been taught friction based sex and because we have not had time to warm up this becomes a habitual go to stimulate the heat required for orgasm.

Friction base sex overtime can desensitise our genitals so we end up looking for and wanting harder and faster, if we do not have the soft, slow and tender too.  But most damaging of all, is that overtime our internal walls begin to harden, as a response to the consistent pounding and just like a piece of leather, the internal walls begin to harden causing lubrication to become more challenging and sex painful.

❤️ We are not meant to be consistently penetrated. It is important for our Yoni health that we learn to sip in our lover. This is an intimate act of opening, surrendering and allowing our lover into new felt depths.

We become a open “invitation” like an exquisite flower.

Once our vagina walls have had that time to adapt and softly move around the lingam, (of which they are designed to be soft and flexible to move around a babies head, and move around to fit our partner) then sexual movement can begin. To share sipping is a profoundly connected and delicious experience for both partners.

❤️ Juicy, wet, alive, creative and sensual are essential ingredients that need to be present in our daily life outside of the bedroom. What makes you feel alive? Do you allow yourself to enjoy life? Do you spend time in nature? Do you sway your hips and dance wildly? Do you paint, bake, write, sing? Do you slow down and taste that first bite? Do you breathe in the scent of the rose? Do you touch and caress your own beautiful body?

❤️ Sacral chakra alignment is key to our being wet. The sacral is the water element, the waters of our womb space, the flow of our creativity, how we relate with self and other. If we are disconnected from our sacral or it is undernourished then we are not in the full abundance of our creative juices. To feel alive, vibrant, sexy we need to feel awake to our sacral, to feel safe and at ease in our hips, pelvis, belly and turned on.

Ways to enhance lubrication for women.

Warm up before sex: The female body is five degrees cooler than a male body, it therefore needs time to heat up for sex. To create heat our body asks for stimulation from the edges towards our genitals rather than just “bits” of us being twiddled, tweaked and sexually objectified. Our whole body is a sensual canvas to turn on. We also may desire heat out of the bedroom ~ touch that does not always lead to sex but dances towards, the flow and ease of conversation, trust, honesty, laughter, play, romance, devoted time with a fully present lover, to feel we are valued and cared for.

Slow down: We are in a fast pace overstimulated world. It is of benefit to balance with slow, calm, quiet and move out of head and into the softness of breath and body. This is the way of the feminine. To play with slow touch, slow rhythmic movement and notice the subtle hum in the body.

Learn to sip with Jade egg: The Jade Egg practice is a perfect way to learn to sip. The beauty is that it is not an object that looks like a sex toy, and in some respects that supports us to simply allow ourselves to explore and be curious about how we are made and the power of our yoni. It is important to have guidance on working with a Jade egg. Any bad press around this ancient feminine practice is only because women are using it without sufficient information and instruction from a Jade Egg facilitator.

Bring sensuality to your life: Sensuality is simply using all the senses we are born with, for when we consciously spend time to slow down and fully be in movement, taste, touch, smell, sound, we are instantly present to our body and igniting the flames of our sexual fire.

Know your yoni: Many of us were brought up with shame around our bodies or feeling like a bad girl to explore and touch ourselves. Our Yoni is a treasure of beauty and wisdom. When we are attuned to our yoni and have released the shackles that tamed, hurt or wronged us, we know what we want and how to ask.  

Don’t give yourself a hard time: When we make lubrication a problem, we put ourselves under more pressure and tense up. Lubrication does not happen when we are tense and stressed, it flows when we feel safe to be surrendered and open.

Connect with your Sacral: Spend time exploring how it feels to be in your breath and if you can allow it to round your belly. Do you pull away from your Yoni and belly? Does it feel like home and safe or tight with anxiety or fear? Healing the sacral and allowing yourself to move, breathe, create, ask for what you desire and voicing your dreams from this place opens up your body to soft, allowing, abundant … and wet.