In tantra we call the penis “lingam”. Lingam comes from the beautiful language of Sanskrit, loosely translated it means “wand of light.”
When a man has embraced his lingam as part of his whole being into his life & sex life from an essence of tantra, it brings forth a richer sensuality to love making, an ability to experience sex not only in the genitals but the whole body & a depth of connected touch with himself, others & the world around him. He “owns” his manhood.
Although massage of the lingam is highly sensual & pleasurable, it is not necessarily sexual. The lingam is included in an authentic tantric initiation to honour and worship you as a “whole being” but it is certainly not the focus of the session. So much in life is placed in separate boxes and we can be guilty of doing this with our bodies, separating our genitals from the rest of who we are. Every part of your body in a tantric massage is honoured, caressed and respected in equal measure.
A Tantric healing massage has no goals; it is a very present experience of the senses that unfolds. Therefore ejaculation and erection is not an aim or an essential part of the session. It may happen, it may not … it is not the intention of an authentic tantric therapist or responsibility to “provide a happy ending.” Her “role” is to remove all focus related to sexuality and sensuality away from the lingam and the mind and distribute sensual pleasure throughout the body with a conscious & present form of loving touch. If orgasm or climax does occur it is a sensual experience rather than totally sexual & not something we have tasted before …The orgasms are deeply nourishing & satisfying for the whole body.
Lingam healing uses pressure points on & around the lingam & scrotum, these pressure points are energised & feelings of arousal are built …again this is not due to a goal or intention to create ejaculation but to promote new senses of arousal and healing. Our “root” area holds all our unconscious beliefs related to our survival … money, home, sex, relationships with others & the world around us, our relationship with “self” and how safe we feel in our own skin. As energy is fired up in the lingam area and moved throughout the body, the unconscious becomes conscious, blessing us with clarity & freedom from limiting beliefs that have restricted our sexuality, sensuality, ability to have healthy relationships with self and others and stand strong in our own roots. The point is to not provide relief through ejaculation but use the sense of arousal to reach blissful spaces of no mind, to achieve whole body sensations, healing & deep relaxation. It is to allow sex to be about the natural instincts of our wonderful sensual bodies and not about the mind and all its thoughts, fantasies and anxieties.
I feel it is essential part of a man’s life to experience the capacity of his sexual energy beyond the act of sex & beyond the idea that sex is solely a pleasure based in the area of the genitals. Our sexual energy has such a bigger part to play in our lives beyond the act of sex, it inspires us, motivates us to take action ~ it is our va voom for life.
The healing benefits of a lingam healing massage are far & wide, just when we feel we have a list of potential possibilities; tantra will expand for each unique individual & bring something new. But to try & convey to you the hidden treasures of an authentic tantric lingam massage beyond the idea of an erotic massage, I will give a few examples…
Impotence & Premature Ejaculation
On many sites you will read that lingam massage is highly beneficial for both these “conditions” due to the fact that massaging this area & using reflexology pressure points increases the blood flow & levels of stimulation to this area.
Although this information is totally accurate I personally come from a different perspective & believe that both these “conditions” are of the mind… they are a thought or a belief that we hold onto, or a feeling of shame & failure.
Tantra moves beyond the mind, whether you ejaculate or not, too soon or not, whether you get an erection or maintain an erection is neither here or there, for all of these are goals & expectations of the mind. Once a tantric therapist can assist you to move beyond the mind & its ideas & expectations of what should happen, your sexual energy may relax & unfold into its own potential.
Many men contact me & say “I’ve mastered the ability to last for hours” & sadly this has become the myth of tantra… Tantra is not about longer lasting love making sessions, (although this can become a by product) but richer love making sessions… there is more to it than basic penetration and ejaculation & how long a man can “last” or not. The point is there is no point… if that makes any sense. Often a man has mastered this control through his mind, in holding back, changing the rhythm or position … what I choose to share is how through listening to the body, ejaculation may be “postponed” from being released from the body & used within the body instead, whether that be for body healing, whole body orgasm, expansion of consciousness, places of no mind or to enrich a relationship with a partner. I also wish to share with men how love making is enriched not so much through intercourse but intimacy & touch as a loving partner…
Becoming a Man
Just as there are women walking around in women’s bodies with no direction in what a woman is, there are men. Tantra provides a man with the empowerment to explore who he is as a man, who he is as a man in this world & in all relationships. It supports him in standing in his masculinity & femininity, bringing balance to mind, body & soul. It provides sexual understanding of self & in turn women, sexual empowerment & confidence in life & sexual encounters.
Lingam massage also supports the healing process of:
- Low sex drive
- Fear of intimacy
- Difficulties with touch
- Fear of being physically close to a woman
- “Inability” to feel, give or receive love
- The inability to feel safe in one’s own skin
- Lack of trust in relationships
- Lack of respect for one’s own sexuality, reducing promiscuity
- Lack of motivation, inspiration, mojo
It invites into a relationship with another:
- An ability to trust
- A willingness to be vulnerable
- An ability to surrender
- A connection of rich depth & unity
- Nourishing & satisfying sex for the mind, body & soul
- It allows a wide range of orgasms & climax experiences never tasted before, for the man to immerse himself into for personal exploration of his body & masculinity ~ revealing, deepening & expanding his sensuality & sexuality.
Choosing the right tantric therapist for you before booking is essential. It is I feel important to have a casual chat by phone first, just to make sure “what you are getting”. So many male clients have had bad experiences & been left feeling dirty or degraded, just as women do. You are putting yourself in a vulnerable space, so if it is not erotic you are looking for but tantric therapy, make sure that is not what you are getting.
All journeys in life require strong beginnings of courage, love honour and trust.