Through the sharing of my words, I hope to answer your curiosities, bring to your life sensuous moments & inspire you to taste tantra. Giving yourself permission to live a satisfying, bliss-filled life, knowing the riches of intimate touch & sacred sex.

Category Archives: Tantra For Couples

The Magic & Beauty Of Soft Cock

We have this idea and expectation that a man is meant to have a hard erection all the time and upon demand.
A man has been taught that he is not a man unless he has an erection and unless he can maintain an erection.  Therefore there is a lot of shame around having a soft cock and a feeling that they are not a true man.

As women, we have this expectation for our men to have hard erections. We may feel that a man has let us down by not “producing” a firm cock or we may take it that they do not find us attractive.

So I would like to take that away, just for a moment and talk about the magic and beauty of soft cock.

When we are with a man who has a soft cock than we are able to truly give permission for that man to be who he is without pressure and without demands. And that is love.

If you think how we feel as women, we do not want to feel pressure to perform, to feel forced into orgasm.

We do not want to feel pressure into being wet. We just want to be touched and honoured and cherished and devoured for the woman we are. Not for every touch to have a sexual agenda behind it. and for our bodies to be sexually objectified.

Why shouldn’t men be treated in the same way.

To just gently caress his cock, to spend time in a feeling of love, adoration and worship for this man with you, for this man beside you.

To have an expectation that his erection has to last a certain length of time or have a certain quality to it , is creating pressure and also creating shame.

It is an unrealistic expectation.

I believe that this unrealistic expectation comes from our sex education and also from the world of porn.
We can see the support of this idea as Viagra becomes widely accessible on the market and more and more men have shame around soft cock.

Now on the other side of that there is a beauty and magic to being with a man with a soft cock. And there are also health benefits to that for us as women.

So I don’t know if you have ever tried it but to have a soft cock in your mouth and allow that cock to grow and expand within your mouth is a beautiful experience for us and our man.

And if we relate that experience to our Yoni, to have a man growing and expanding within us, is a very profound and beautiful experience.
Not only this but it is healthier for our Yoni, so that as the cock expands and grows, our Yoni has time to expand and move and hold space for our man, rather than being penetrated by an already hard erection.  It gives our Yoni permission to be soft, inviting and supple and mould herself around her man.
Women’s Sexual health benefits are Supported in this experience, not just how delicious this feels.

It is a deeply intimate experience.
An experience that holds no pressure or shame. It is totally accepting and an “allowing” of what IS between two people.

Also soft cock penetration allows another depth to our relationship, another depth to our sharing.  There has to be this dropping of action based sex and continuous friction based sex. that can cause desensitising in our Yoni and for our men’.

If we can just be with our man, with him inside us, letting go of needing to move, to make something happen… to get somewhere, to create friction based sex.  This is another experience that we are missing out on because we are so focused and so expectant that Sex has to be friction based, action and with a hard cock, we are missing out on all the other delicious flavours, qualities and tastes of our sexual interactions and instead being tunnel visioned about what sex ought to look like, be like and feel like.

I worked with a couple who were in their seventies and they were having Sex every day. They had the most beautiful and wonderful relationship that I have ever seen. This was because they were making that commitment, that time of sacredness and devotion to connect with each other every day. They called it Sex but it was not how we may perceive sex to be.

There may have been action but in general it was just him being inside her soft and being close and being in the breath together and sharing that deep intimacy together without an agenda and without a preconceived idea of what could happen. And that allows our sexual interactions to be organic, to unfold, to grow, to develop, to have depth to it, to truly be a communication between two bodies.

Because they were making a choice to “be” with each other every morning, their relationship ran in complete harmony through out their day, completely synchronised. They were able to meet each other’s needs and wants without having to verbalise them.

So embrace the beauty of soft cock and release the damage we are creating for our men and within our sexual health as women by trying to live up to these unrealistic expectations that we  give to our men and our growing boys in the world. ❤️