This is a guest post from my client Claire. You can read her previous blog here
Speaking with Michelle and writing about it helped me process stuff and I actually felt normal again – well, my version of normal – I even smiled. In fact I was surprised at how ok I was after putting myself through such mental torment for so many hours. Days in fact. What a difference a chat makes.
That same day, Dave and I talked over things a bit more. We realised we were mirroring each other a lot – our fears and blocks – and so we extended lunch and spent some time together that afternoon. We held each other and finally, finally.. we both relaxed. Just what was needed.
What was clear, is that we both felt going on this tantric journey was essential for both of us – as individuals and a couple – and though it’s heavy and tough-going right now, we both feel it’s worth it. We both want to shed the shit and grow. We want something richer, better.
However, I must confess something..
I was naughty and said to him that maybe I should be seeing a different tantric therapist.. a man. He swallowed hard when I said that. I looked him straight in the eye and said.. now you may understand a bit of what I’ve been feeling.
I shouldn’t have done that
It was a bit of a cheap shot and was done from the petulant teen in me. It was unnecessary. I knew that before I formed the words but didn’t resist the temptation.. it did taste sweet, triumphant even, for a moment and then I immediately thought.. Why the fuck do I want him to feel the way I have these past few days? It’s been hell! He already has some jealous thoughts of his very own without me adding to the mix with a suggestion I had no intention of carrying out.
We’re going to Michelle’s to do something together for an hour. All will be revealed to us on arrival and I’m hoping it will be guiding us through some breath work and meditation. I’ll let you know!