She was a part of my body that I had detached from at an early age. In my mind she was “trouble”, a source of discomfort, pain & fear. A part of my body I would rather deny existed.
It wasn’t until much later in life, the realisation came to me that something was consistently missing from my be-ing-ness, my life, my relationships, my daily experiences & the treasure resided in the one part of me that I had refused to embrace.
Through the art of sacred touch & tantric meditation I discovered she was not the source of pain I had believed her to be.
She was IN pain & without a voice.
Through the layers of healing, moving deeper into her hurt, listening to her tales & feminine wisdom, she became a doorway to many sacred gifts.
She blessed me with freedom, safety, abundance, sensuality, the birthing of my soul & the embodiment of enlightenment. My sexual essence was the “rooting” of all that I am, it anchored me … body, mind & soul, allowing my sharing to be given in totality.
No longer Yoni & I but We.
I now stand with ease & safety in my own skin with a loving acceptance of all parts of who I am. I feel at “home”, no more fighting against this body that once seemed an ugly bind to this human life.
Strong in my roots, there is a deep trust in the flow of life. All my needs are met. I am present in my Yoni, no past stories clouding the light of this day nor a pull to greet the future.
Without her I would not be this radiant, sensual woman. Her eternal beauty lights up my eyes, expands my heart, a constant flowering into divine femininity & love.
The beliefs given to me that I “had to have” a man in my life for love, pleasure & survival were dropped. I became content in my alone-ness ~& in the understanding that I was responsible for my own love, my own pleasure, my own being, my own sexuality, came freedom. In the profound empowerment of this responsibility of self & one’s experiences, sex with a lover was given a new dimension … an intimate sharing of my heart & body, so far removed from the old feelings of anxiety that something was expected of me to give or perform.
The voice I needed to communicate my sexual needs & fantasies as a woman was released without shame; I became clear & confident in what I wanted. There were no longer any walls of fear or inadequacy, no cautious boundaries … it was a delicious moment in knowing this sensual, wild, sexy woman no longer needed to hide, unsatisfied & tame.
It was more than okay to be sexy, to be sensual, to be a Woman.
Sexually I had never been so alive on the inside. I experienced with & without a lover~
- multiple whole body orgasms,
- a range of new experiences of orgasm & climax
- mind expanding sex,
- heart expansion,
- the warm, most yummy feeling of widening of the yoni
- the merging of Unity, one heart with a partner.
My daily living feels rich from the inside, full & in tune with the heartbeat to all.
Sure, there is external chaos that is the after all, the nature of life. But I can deal with it, rooted into the strength & warmth of my femininity, nourished by my sexual essence & silent in the stillness & wisdom of my heart… Storms no longer linger, they may simply pass.