I don’t know about you but I grew up believing that orgasm was “something that happened to me” or quite literally was given to me by a man.
Like many women and young girls growing up today, I had no idea it was a gift I already owned… a pleasurable power that was all mine that could enhance and feed my life.
Imagine my delight and the empowerment I felt to the very core of my being when at the age of 38 (yes, sadly as old as that) I had an orgasm all on my own ~ no man ~ no sex toys ~ no touch.
Simply my presence and my breath.
Women I feel are kept small, in being bought up to believe that orgasms are only available to us during the act of sex and take two to create.
In this belief we loose our deep feminine power to:
- Remain in our femininity.
- Remain soft, receptive, flowing and open.
- Maintain our natural ability to heal, refuel and create.
- Keep our female organs healthy and free of dis-ease.
- Stay with and accept our hormonal changes and patterns.
- Trust in our femininity.
- Trust in our intuition.
- Keep a connection to our juicy, vibrant, sensual, sexual self.
- Feel safe in our bodies, desires, passions and voice.
Orgasms are not given to us. It is an energy of bliss within us that we already own. A flow of energy that moves between our breasts and yoni, releasing oxytocin, the hormone of love, that in turn nourishes and feeds ALL LIFE around us and provides all that we need to be in our natural state of woman hood.
Yes, the act of sex enhances this feeling, but again it is not something we are given but a state of presence and bliss that we share with another.
Thousands of women find it hard in today’s society to reach orgasm and it is hardly surprising. Orgasm arises from a space within us and for that to happen, women need to feel safe in their environment, their own sexuality and bodies and to be of a open, soft, receptive nature. Today we do not feel safe in our sex, in our bodies …
- We are judged for our shape and size.
- We do not feel safe in our sexuality or own it, for it has been abused, disrespected and used by both men and women.
- Sex has become a performance with many expectations placed upon it, rather than a sharing of both presence and pleasure.
- We have cut off from our breasts and yoni and forgotten to love and cherish them, keeping them separate “objects” to our daily lives, that just come out for sex and parties.
- We are not open or soft or receptive, we have taken on a drive to be equal to men,to protect our selves and to compete and gain in a modern, fast world.
- We need to feel safe enough with our man that he can hold the space for us while we fall into orgasm.
Orgasm will not happen as on the self women’s magazines suggest by more lube, a change of position, a better lover, fake it until you make it … and if only we would “relax!”
It is not a performance, nor is it a demand we can make on men as lovers neither is it a man’s responsibility.
It will happen as women move back into their natural state of being and are taught as early as teenage years to connect with their sexuality and own it. To not allow us as women to be penetrated but for us to “invite in.” When we find the voice to ask our men to be there to catch us as we fall into bliss. It is a feminine power inside of each of us, to be shared but never to be given away and lost.
I think it is time as women that we reclaim for our self our orgasmic nature, to relief the pressure off both women and men that orgasm is a requirement in sex … to share the power of the female orgasm as nature intended and to give our daughters the start in their sexuality and sensuality that they deserve and the future of relationships needs.