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I invite you to explore simplicity. 

Simplicity detangled and unshackled from what you THINK you SHOULD do and allow a felt expression of who you are, to move you.  Make its way visible in the world.

Now explore through a technique.  Where there is an instruction. A structure to follow to ensure you get it “right”. 

Which feels fulfilling, connected, juicy and alive? 

Which feels empty, dull, forced? 

Which felt free and from body?
Which felt complicated and pre-designed?

We demand technique and dismiss anything other, anything simple, that does not appease logic.  As if the answer or our effort will only be satisfactory if f*cking hard. 

Maybe we have grown to believe technique keeps us safe?  Prevents us failing as a lover, a human being ...

Maybe simple cannot possibly be that easy or trusted? 

Maybe we are addicted to struggle and effort, for the greater sense of reward, the drama, the story? 

Yet life is not technique or anything of substance within it. 

Life, Love, body, sex, is not about you getting it right. 

When we approach these experiences with learnt techniques, we keep our creative self restrained and deny a felt depth of connection to the experience.

These experiences become rich and fulfilling when they are a felt expression of who we are.  When we allow ourselves to be passionately moved. 

Explore life, love, body and sex with simplicity ❤️
Our life changes as our approach to life changes.

Our approach to life changes as our internal life changes.

We can hear these words.

We can agree with them as fleeting information, yet they only become our experience of truth when, as an individual, we know these words as firstly a felt adjustment within and then secondly the lack of trigger and desire, to feed what was and react as we did before. 

And so it is. 

The internal world has changed, our chosen expression of self and our approach to life and therefore our experience.

Our lives have become watered-down, powerless versions of our fullest capacity of being alive because our focus is on the external above and before what is going on inside of us! 

Nuts isn’t it. No wonder we suffer from exhaustion.

Our relationship to life, body, love, sex, others, illness, food and our addictions changes as our approach does, and our approach can only be changed by attending to our inner world.

Living from the inside out, rather than the outside in. 

Our inner world must be met, held, loved, known, and unravelled free from limiting behaviour and beliefs, judgements, internalised trauma, untruths, and fear, first.

We must notice where we give our power away, loose our self, to the past, an external object, to a situation or person,  that overrides and minimises our internal sense of self. 

Only then does our experiences of self, life, love, body and sex have the freedom to be the rich fulfilling, felt experience we dream of ❤️

NB: please note I do not use the word “must” lightly or with a loose tongue :) from someone who rebels and bolts out the door  from the word “should” :)
What matters to me is your freedom as a sexual being.

What matters to me is your right to feel safe in body, intimacy and sex.  And in turn, your relationship with the world and those around you.

What matters to me is that you shine in the fullest, creative expression of YOU beyond the designs and limitations of fears, resistance and trauma.

There is a turning point, where life can feel like we are sludging through thick oozy mud with our wellies on back to front. 
We long to break free and we fear it too.

This is my invitation. 

The possibilities to alchemise our poison into our medicine. 
Our resistance into our freedom.
Our tender meeting of our trauma into the doorways beyond its prison.

A "return~in" to body and sex to reclaim the natural equilibrium  of safety and belonging.  So we may "play ~fully" explore in the world 💕

Photography by the wonderful @susangracehinman
Why do I believe this?
Because I feel it singing in my bones, the way I soften to them.
The way my sex is vibrant in all I create.
The contented sigh of breath that knows me to be “home” within this flesh.
The sense of aliveness and ripples of pleasure that are most deliciously and most simply present.

That intimately knows the morning bird chorus, the hum of the bee as I know my own heartbeat. 

Life. 

A pulsation of life that effortlessly breathes ... into ALL. 

Yes there is grief, and loss, sorrow ... but my sexuality welcomes each with Tenderness. 

Nothing is too much or not enough. 

Releasing our limiting perspectives that constrict our sexual self to the “act of sex” unleashes our wild and creative to manifest itself in ALL areas of our life. 

To gently hold our shame, our trauma ... To lovingly self soothe our fears that source our disconnect, allows our sexual self to emerge and flourish. 

Our judgments and labels of gender, the expectations to perform... dissolve into insignificance. 

To know ourselves beyond the act of sex as a sexual being, is our ultimate expression of freedom 💕
I was called to share this conversation quite some time ago but I felt I didn’t quite have the courage.  The courage to stand up as a voice for our ancient traditions.

Last night it stirred me from my sleep and so I took pen to paper. 

With an amazing, much-needed increase of body mind medicine, the term somatics, for example has become very popular. 

Please believe me.  I have the upmost respect for somatics and its gifts to our modern day world. Alongside terminology such as mindfulness, it has opened doorways to those who maybe feel resistant to say, meditation. 

However, when exploring into the methods taught and shared within somatics, sexual somatics and many of the leading psychology experts that have adapted their science to meet and integrate a body approach.  Many are tantric yoga meditations and practices to support a gentle inquiry into a life of embodiment, wholeness, sensation and pleasure.

So why not just say?? 

I am aware that Tantra, has been misunderstood in western culture as a tool to fabulous sex.  But still, until others speak out, how will that mis- interpretation change?

It is like taking a masterpiece of music, the beautiful harmonies, the way it touches and reaches into soul.  And re-creating it , maybe with an overlay of a  bit of rap and calling it our own masterpiece.  Not naming the original artist.

Because of ancient Eastern philosophies, we in western culture have these magnificently rich methods that support us to flourish in wholeness, in life, body and sensations ... including yes, sex. 

I believe it is respectful, to declare, for example “this modern day methodology is a blend of Tantric yoga and science. 

But not to rename it just to meet the masses. 

I feel we tend to be a throw away culture without respect of elders, tradition and its rituals.  Why “rob” what is wholesome and dismiss the rest? 

Where is the honour for those who walked before us and gifted us with these life expanding pathways. 

The joy we feel when we say “this is my grandmother‘s recipe of apple pie. I have changed it a little but I think she would love it.” 

Ancient traditions and philosophy are no different to Grandma’s apple pie.
We spend so much time and resources “trying” to fix parts of us, that we feel to be broken. 

Yet when we get out of the way, stop trying so hard to fix or MAKE happen ... 

When we don’t judge or shame where we are and instead choose to gently breathe into where we are. 

There is space and an inner sigh of internal silence. 

It is within that space that our sex and creativity can simply and most deliciously flower ... 

Our body knows what to do ... it just asks we stop probing, fixing, demanding, trying, and resisting. 

Our sex and creativity thrives with playful flow not force 💕
I have not been held for so very long, that today as I lay upon the Earth in the glorious spring sun, I felt my whole body sigh deeply.

A surrender of flesh and blood, of bones and heart into the arms of a devoted lover. 

In all her strength she rose up to embrace me. 

Unraveling....
Years of “self holding” tightly woven to keep me together, to keep “safe” ... undone.

Absorbed into her forgiving soil.

Unexpressed tears came as 
Relief. 

Peace as silent as holy prayer. 
I was home 💕
I always feel this as a irritable discomfort.  As though it is keeping the edges of me, from breathing and being natural ... from expanding into more-ness, as life desires us to. 

Like old jeans that were a dream to slip on at 24 and felt fantastic, now feeling a squeeze and just not fitting who I am, or doing me any favours. 

Our habitual patterns, routines and structures.  Our worn out beliefs, our “taught” untruths. Our thoughts, are like those jeans.

There are many, many vows I took as a child, teenager, lover and mother.  Powerful ones. 

And many coats of beliefs I carried as my own, through my days because “they said say so” and hey they “knew best.”

And yes, many of those served a valid purpose THEN. 

But what once we created to keep us safe, begins to keep us small. 

We splinter our power and not only does Life become stagnant and dull, we feel stagnant and dull on the inside.

Until we have the courage to question ... 

❤️ Does this thought/ action move me forward to where I want to be, to who I know myself to be ... or keep me stuck? 

❤️ Does this thought feel truth in my heart, fill me up and inspire me?  Or does it weaken me? 

❤️ Does this belief inspire me to be the best I am or crush me small?

❤️ Does my life feel creative and inspired? 

❤️ Do I feel alive or am I living with the ghosts of my yesterday‘s?

Sometimes we HAVE TO withdraw... 
Claim ourselves back. 
Honour.
Accept. 
Grieve. 
Let go. 
Rest. 
Restore. 
Integrate.
And be PLAYFUL with the new. 

Returning from our solitude and tender listening ... with not just perfectly fitting fabulous jeans but sparkly “fuck off” amazing boots to match 💕
Your inner alchemy is not something anyone can do for you. 
Although life‘s pains and trauma may have been the consequences of the external world and another, the power to heal is not separate from you but in YOU. 

For so long, I waited for permission from those I loved and respected, to be me.  Or for them to “reward” me with “earned” kindness or love ... 

Or waited for them to change or show up for me as the relationship role prescribed.

I was giving my self away by waiting! 

Our poison becomes our medicine.  Our restrictions our freedom. 
Our tender meeting of our wounds,the doorways beyond its prison.

It is a powerful realisation, that others cannot give us what we feel to be missing or “give back” the parts of us, we believe that they took away.

No other can fix us. 

Nor do they have YOUR answer.

An alchemist is someone who has transformed her own poison into her own medicine and therefore the energy of her internal alchemy is a catalyst for others.

Her voice is authentic truth, not intellect learnt and certificated. 

It is primal, lived, raw and wild wisdom. 

I believe we can offer others possibilities to explore, methods to curiously play with, open hearts to hold and ears to truly listen.

I believe we can inspire with our journeys, shine soothing rays of warm light when courage and hope has faded. 

We can offer an environment of kindness where all parts are welcome, seen, known, heard LOVED and met.

After all these years of constantly and consistently showing up for myself, unfolding into the multifaceted expressions of the woman I am. 

My advice is not to throw your power away to “the other to fix” shedding the responsibility of your journey into the hands of another. 

Part of you needs to not just half baked believe you are the answer... we need to EXPERIENCE our self  as the answer. 

Be supported, yes!
Be guided, yes! 
Be held, yes!
Be heard, yes!
Be loved.  Hell yes! 

But your greatest challenge IS your greatest healing and your greatest gift to self. 

Do not give the power of your inner alchemy away, for it will only ever feel halfway there and the external search in other, will still howl its internal hunger 💕
I remember a time when the magic of “self inquiry” was such an addictive thrill. 

These new concepts beyond what had imprisoned me as a wild bird, exciting. 
The results, ecstatic ripples of such moorish freedom, that I never considered the importance of creating a nest.

But these fragile new seeds of experience had nowhere to land and so they were not fully lived. 

When we are responsible for the growth of any life form it is our nature to desire to support that growth as tenderly as we can. 

To ensure that life force has all it needs to flourish, whether that be a flower or a child. We prepare the immediate environment as consciously as a bird with her nest. 

We ensure there is nourishment, nurturing, silence, warmth, darkness and light. 

We ensure the flower or child knows all parts of him are welcome, accepted, supported and loved at each stage of its development.

That the chaos and deconstruction of growth feels as safe as the silent, still and subtle.

In creating my own space over the years, I have insured that my nervous system has a place to come down from its old habitual patterns. 

That I offer myself solitude and silence and feel at ease in that necessary aloneness to listen. 

That I open my arms, my heart, to all parts of who I am, as I would for my daughter and my sons.

I take time each morning to enter the world. I know I cannot wake and burst into the busyness of the day for I will feel flighty and anxious. 

I know the beginning of each day needs to be a slow, gentle, tender immersion into the world with tea and chocolate :)

All growth needs its own nest.
All growth needs solid and rich land.
All growth is movement and yet silent and still.  All growth asks we do not push into our expectations of time. 

Before we dive into any inner alchemy this needs to be in place.

What do you do to ensure your environment is supportive to your needs?  That it feels welcoming to all parts of you to be present?
That the nest for the intimate exploration of the powerful sexual and sensual you is loving and safe? 💕
We have become so accustomed to the loud, the fast, the busy, the drama. Our ability to notice our subtle world is lost to us.

In silence, there is not emptiness. Not at all. 
Within silence, awaits an Aladdin‘s Cave of all our most pleasurable sensations. 
The power of our innocent sexuality. 
Our creative whispers. 

When we can be at ease with silence, without reaching outwards to fill it with noise or distractions, we create for ourselves a container. 

A welcome environment to come back to and attend to our inner alchemy.

In silence we offer ourselves, listening, non-judgement, kindness, love, understanding, that we may not have received when we needed it most.

In silence we heal from the past ensuring that all that happened is no longer a felt happening. 
Our nervous system is offered an invitation to drop down and drop in, allowing an unbinding of fraught, life limiting tension.

But how? 
How to enter silence, when we have perceived the quiet to be full of waiting ghosts. 
Become accustomed to constant stimulation. 

Moments. 

Simply taking moments. 

It would overwhelm us, to take to a silent retreat.  To flip without care, from one extreme to the other. 

But to dip into the still pool in the middle and submerge gradually ... gently. 

Bathing in moments of self soothing silence. 

Those moments will organically linger and unfold into unmeasured breath and time, 
where we naturally are drawn by desire to come “be” ... come restore our soul, our body, tenderly embraced in the rich alchemy of silence.
Silence has been my faithful companion this past year. Last April, overnight my life was stripped bare of all I knew and I found myself in a life I did not recognise. 
A new home. A new town. Without any of my children since first becoming a mum at 18. No routine to anchor me or  normalise what I would otherwise find overwhelming. 
No client sessions and no familiar faces. 

I was alone with silence.

It is curious our resistance to silence. How we have habitually  learnt to fill up what appears to be empty with meaningless noise and doing.

Yet I felt held and comforted in its limitless presence. 
And the more I softened into its stillness, the more I was welcomed into the depths of its secrets. 
My body unravelled and surrendered there was no thing for me to do. 
I was asked to rest and restore from the chapters past and gift myself permission to immerse into unmeasured time and all I found there.

Silence was here as a Cocoon through the emotions of this transition from full-time mum to a new era of womanhood, from hometown to Newtown. 

To let go. 

To allow grief, loss, acceptance and celebration. 

To know myself a new. 

It felt this time I could not carry on from old to new overnight. I had to take time out and pause.

The value of silence during this time of transition has been essential to all parts of my well-being and growth. Too often we muddle and push through transitions in life, of which there are many.

When we keep calm and carry on without pausing we deny ourselves the gifts and wisdom that this life experience is bringing to us. 

We deny ourselves from totally feeling how this feels.  Mourning and celebrating what has passed, knowing we are not leaving anything or anyone behind, but allowing all to be where it belongs on the timeline of our life.

When we keep calm and carry on, we disconnect to enable us to cope and in disconnecting from our self and our feelings we disconnect from our sense of aliveness. 

Continued in comments 💕
Melting into silence.
My body sighs.
It’s tightly bound form unravels.
The edges of who I am, are limitless.

Silence beckons me.
A wanton lover & to it, I yield.
Devoured in silence.
I dissolve.

Michelle K Roberton 💕
In a world of noise, where do you go for silence? 

All our knowing of “self”. Our individuality, our passions and dreams, our unique medicine, waits patiently in the depths of our being. 

Getting there is not “too hard”. 
It is the “not listening” to self, that begins to create sticky unfulfilling dull patterns that strangles our lust for life. 

Often this means we have to turn away from the constant stream of man made noise.  The distraction of the world and others.  For with all its voices and opinions, we become too cloudy to hear our own.

Stepping away to breath, to see beyond, to listen “inwards”, enables us to return to the crowd, rich and full of life ... nourished by a sense of responsibility and care for self. 

In silence we gather the creative fire to go our hearts way 💕

@bethflynnartwork
There is nothing as delicious as a dose of flirting to keep our relationships and sex alive and nourished ... 

In this fabulous conversation the gorgeous Cate Mackenzie, playfully reminds us of the value of flirting, play and joy in our lives … creating irresistible invitations for richer relationships and sex. 

Perfect to listen to with a cup of tea and a slice of something naughty 💕
 @catelovecoach 

Brighton Talks Sex available in bio, iTunes and Spotify 💕
In a world that is in constant change and adjustment, how do we maintain that we do not get distracted with external fear or our reaction to chaos.

Being grounded is a term often used and yet one, we can assume we are, without actually ENSURING  we are.

How we spend our day is an important reflection and requires a “tool kit” in maintaining our roots to secure we do not get easily misled, distracted, or buy into others beliefs or chaos as our own.

Our roots need a healthy relationship with our sex, our body, our self care, money, our belonging, our survival, our needs around security... home.

But is analysing and taking all these pieces apart with conversation the answer.

I believe not.  For analysing, thought, conversation takes us further into “air” into head ...
I believe the simplistic answer is to kindly feel into your body ... immersing into each breath as a wave ... 

Beginning with the navel ... the centre of you. 

In the womb the navel was the centre of your existence, your source of life, your source of nourishment.  Your connection to all you needed to survive and thrive.  There was no thought ... simply the connection with the pulsation of life through your umbilical ... your navel.

Upon waking before entering the world and before you get out of bed, breath and soften into your navel ... notice the rise and fall.

During your day, when you walk, bring all of your awareness into your navel as you walk ... feel the difference walking IN the world, from your centre.

Upon sleep ... put yourself home, back to centre with the rise and fall of unravelling breath.

Your day will change, your sleep will change ... your moving will change ... your interactions will change ... as you live your life from your body and not your head 💕
Body love is the most enriching, life changing gift we can gift to give ourselves.  It changes our world internally and externally. 
It changes the way we relate with not just our self but life and those around us.

It opens our world of sensation up and gives our “ sexy’” roots to expand from.

In this brave podcast the gorgeous Sophie shares with me, her journey home from self sabotage and trauma, back to her skin and bones … and the deliciousness of her sexy.💕

It’s Friday, a perfect time to pour yourself a glass and listen to Brighton Talks Sex “My journey back to body & Sex” on Spotify, iTunes.
Podcast link in bio 💕
Your breath is a gentle kiss of devotion, between your body & the Universe 💕
After years of exploring my way back to bones, to flesh and not just knowing, but feeling I belonged here in this breath, in this body,

I understand where that un-ease of not being safe or belonging comes from.

I desire to gently hold your hand and share those stepping stones … back to you. 💕

My new gift to you has arrived in the world ... full of heart, compassion and tenderness ... an offer to explore a new relationship of love with your body.

An interactive video course for anyone with a body! 
Includes 16 videos of simplistic steps to integrate into the busiest of daily life. 
3 audios 
plus an audio bonus.
And 30 minutes of personal chat time with me for extra support or guidance.

Your investment: £147 for lifetime access and  a lifetime of love for your body 💕

All Interactive video courses available by  following link in bio 💕

Heartbreak

Heartbreak is very much part of our human experience. 

So often our reaction can be shut our hearts away, to protect and shield ourselves from pain.  And yet heartbreak can break us open, to reveal our capacity to love … more.

In this video I explore with you how our response to heartbreak can ease and soothe our pain so we may dare to love again.

 

Get To Know Your Clitoris For Owners & Lovers.

Have you ever taken the time to get to know your clitoris or your lover’s clitoris? I believe our clitoris has secrets of pleasure and wisdom that support us to know ourselves in richer ways as a woman or explore and meet our lover in new ways … if only we slow down and approach […]


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Change Your Masturbation, Change Your Life.

When we take a look at our approach, our beliefs and our with masturbation, we can see how the arena of our bedroom behaviour reflects on how we show up in life. Can we learn to caress, love and be tender with self?  Without goals, expectations?  Without judgement or shame? By simply changing our intimate […]


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An Honest and brave Journey Of Touch.

Fate brought me to Michelle’s site – an article in a magazine about Yoni massage, a blogger who had written about Michelle and then Michelle’s site itself. It seemed to me that it was all meant to be, however I was beyond terrified. Being touched by others and even touching myself was deeply unpleasant. I […]


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Sex … more than a three letter word. With Nic Askew.

Sharing with the wonderful Nic Askew, the word Sex had much more to bring into presence than what we contain those three letters to be.  


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The Joy Of Tantric Sex.

A light evening interview with Allison Ferns and Bibi Lynch from BBC Radio, exploring with Michelle Roberton the joy of tantric sex. Pop, your feet up, pour a glass and enjoy ❤️


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Looking Beneath Our Desire?

If we take time to pause, to listen to self, we will often find that there is something beneath our desire that is not quite being met, as we are attending to our desire from surface level without truly listening in or from habit.  As we learn to allow our deepest desire to be fully […]


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The Importance Of Telling Our Partner We Wish To Explore Our Sexuality.

I strongly believe it is important to share with our partner our intention to explore our sexuality and Tantra. In this video I share why I feel this is so and the effects it can have on shaming our sexuality or experience when we don’t.      


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Is Tantra A couple’s Journey Or A Journey For An Individual?

We can have the presumption and misconceived idea that Tantra is a couples journey and all about great sex. In this video I offer the suggestion that Tantra is in truth an individual journey, enhanced, once fully embodied, with another.      


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Sex After Childbirth Trauma.

In this video I share a reflection on how we may approach sex after trauma during childbirth, in a tender, kind and less intensely focused way.  This may also be a gentle approach after any sexually traumatic event.      


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